I have been attending a noon time Bible Study for several years now. The past several months we have been studying the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah can be a very hard book to read. Kind of depressing. As we have gone through this book, however, I have found some things my mind has been drawn to. Throughout this book it is evident the sins of Israel were many and caused much heartache. Sounds kind of familiar doesn't it. Going through this book one thing has struck me most. Jeremiah and God had many discussions. There were times throughout the book where the people were behaving so badly that God said to Jeremiah don't even pray for these people, don't offer up petitions on their behalf and don't plead with me for I won't listen. I can't even imagine such great anger on God's behalf. The thing, though, that struck me even more was that though these people were sinning greatly, some even plotting to kill Jeremiah and even after God told him not to, Jeremiah continued to petition God for these people. His heart was broken for these lost people. Over and over Jeremiah went to the Lord on their behalf.

Today our pastor was preaching from Luke and my eyes fell on a sub title which read, "Jesus Weeps Over Jerusalem." As Jesus' enemies were plotting to kill Him he was weeping over them and their sins.

All of these things made me think about myself. When was the last time I wept over those who are lost? How many times have I petitioned God for those in my family, my circle of influence, my friends and my coworkers who are not living in a right relationship with Him. How long since I wept over those in my Sunday school class and church that I know need a restored relationship with God. Some of those are far from God. I prayed today that God would break my heart for those who are lost and far from Him.

I watched a clip that was on another blog, I believe it was on YouTube, about a man who was an atheist and he asked the question, How much do you have to hate someone not to tell someone about God and warn them about Hell? Not an exact quote, but the essence of the quote. Wow, what a question. It should definitely make us search our hearts.

I want to love people enough that I am truly concerned about their souls. Concerned enough to weep for them. Concerned enough to petition God over and over on their behalf. Concerned enough to tell them that yes there is a Heaven and Hell, yes there is consquences for our sins, yes there is a lot of bad in this world, but yes there is a God who loved them enough to send His one and only son to die on the cross for them. Concerned enough to help them find the way to a true relationship with this God who loves them.

I know this is long and maybe not too profound to many, but just wanted to share what God has been speaking to my heart. Lessons, I hope, I am learning. Just maybe someone else needs a little reminder too that we need to have a broken heart for the lost in order to make any kind of impact on them.

Side Sermons from God

Once again while my Pastor was preaching God was giving me a side sermon. Our Pastor had read Psalm 119:9-16. My mind stopped at verse 10. As I read that verse, over & over, I started thinking about it. The verse, in NKJV, reads, "With my whole heart I have sought You."

As I thought about this verse, I had to ask my self when was the last time I sought the Lord with my whole heart. I know I read my Bible and pray. I am a "good" Christian. However, I have to ask myself was it the Lord that I sought after with my whole heart or was it the things that he could do for me or give me. You know, things like health, wealth and all the blessings we know that God is able to give. How long has it been that I have just sought God just to be with him. I have to answer it has been awhile.

Another verse that made me stop and think was not included in my Pastor's passage, but just down a few verses. It is verse 20. "My soul breaks with longing for Your judgements at all times." There have been some things I've been praying about and I have been seeking God's will on them, however, I must admit I have also been letting God know that I could advise Him on how He could accomplish it in a way that would make me happy. Do I really long for his judgement in these things. His judgement is always best. We all know that right? So why do we tend to pray for something and then proceed to tell God what the best way to answer is? Do I really want His will or do I just want to be able to say, "Well, I prayed for God's will, so this must be it."? Praying for God's will (judgement) in a matter has to be without strings. Either we truly want God's will or we truly want our will. Believe it or not, God does not need our help in figuring out His will for our lives. He has a plan and we need to realize that His way is always better than our way. Easy? No, but as we grow in Him it gets easier to truly say "Your will, not mine be done."

God is Good...All the time

We've all heard the little ditty "God is Good....All the time and All the time...God is Good. It seems like this is said all the time and after awhile it just becomes a habit. We tend to do it just because the Pastor or whoever is up front gets it started. There are times I think here we go again. Another thing I catch myself rolling my eyes at is when I hear the song leader give the page for the prayer song before the pastoral prayer. At our church the one that is sung most frequently is God is so Good. After awhile we begin to sing this song without even thinking about it because we "do it all the time."



Well, today on my way home from work both these things came to me. When I went to work this morning it was snowing lightly. As the morning progressed, the snow kept coming. When I came out of work to go home (I'm still on 1/2 days from surgery) I had to clean off several inches of snow that had fallen throughout the morning. I hate to drive in bad weather, but drove home. It took me about 30 minutes to get from Bryan to Montpelier. At any rate when I hit the city limits I just said out loud "Thank you Lord." After I said it I felt like I had to clarify what I said. Sometimes we say "Thank you Lord." without really thinking. I said I really do mean thank you. Then tears came because I really did mean it. I have been driving back and forth to Bryan to work for approximately 19 years and not once have I hit a deer, which is a feat in itself, I have never been in an accident due to my error or someone elses and I have never slid off the road due to ice or snow. I take the same route every day and at times I've come close. If I had been a minute sooner or a few minutes later, I could have been in a couple very serious accidents, but I have always missed them. So as I thanked God the little ditty came to my mind. God is good....all the time and all the time...God is good. God is so good. He protects us when we are not even aware of it. I think we sometimes forget how good God is because we tend to get into a routine. Sometimes we need to stop saying things or stop singing things just for the sake of doing it and take time to look at the words and to really think about our lives and see the things that God does for us so we can say it with conviction and not just because.

Is God's Word Relevant For Us Today?

I have had people ask me this question and I am sure I have asked this question at times. What answer do we give? Any "good" Christian would answer yes. It is easy to say yes. It is sometimes harder to give the questioner examples right off the top of your head. Well, last night at our women's Bible study I was able to give a definite example of just how relevant God's Word is in our day to day lives.

Earlier in the day I had received an email from a family member and she wrote to me about a long standing issue in our family. This issue has gone on for close to 10 years or so. In the past it has been easy to get into a full blown "discussion" regarding this issue. She made some comments that I could have easily responded to, but decided and told her I would only respond the the questions that were pertinent to me and would not respond to the other issue she brought up. I told her that I would pray as I have been doing that God would work out a miracle in the situations that she had mentioned.

Well, I had studied my lesson for the Bible study a week ago, but as we went over it last night, one of the verses stood out to me and was very relevant for this particular situation. the verse was 2 Timothy 2:23, "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels." It is very easy to get caught up in arguments. Of course both parties are sure they are right, but is it really that important. Is being right worth strained relationships? I must say that I believe that if I were completely honest most arguments would fall under "foolish and stupid."

Is God's Word relevant to us today? I believe if we just read God's Word for the sake of reading it (it's the right thing to do), we may feel like we really didn't get anything out of the reading. However, if we pray for God's guidance and read His Word intentionally, truly wanting to see what God has for us regarding how to really live a Holy life, we will find His Word to be very relevant for us today.

I am so excited that something I've prayed about has finally been answered. I was not necessarily planning to be part of the answer, but I am excited that I am. So what is this great thing I am excited about? Well many months ago I felt very burdened for the young adults in our church. I had been praying for many of them for quite awhile and I felt we really needed a class that they could go to that didn't have anyone over 50. Both our adult classes have wonderful people in them, but they were all older and I sensed that our younger adults that came in those classes were a bit uncomfortable. The only other option was for them to go to the teen class, which after speaking to some of them this past Sunday, was not a real comfortable situation either. Well, as I said I had been praying for a class for these people. Daniel & I were talking about it one night while he was home this summer and he asked me a question I couldn't get out of my head. The question was "What are you going to do about it?" I said what am I going to do about it? I can't do anything about it. There had been a class at one time and a person who had been the teacher. I didn't want to step on anyone's toes and I didn't think I could teach it. I have only taught children. The more time went on the more the question bugged me. What was I going to do about it? I felt praying was the best I could do, then one Sunday morning in the adult class I attend we had three or four of the young adults in our class. We were beginning a study on Revelations. I looked around the class and really felt God impressing on me that I needed to do something. During the morning worship service I kept thinking there is no way I can teach adults, I can only teach children. I also kept thinking I can't suggest starting the class up again without talking to the previous teacher to make sure there would be no hard feelings. During the pastor's sermon he said, "If you feel God is asking you to do something, you really need to be doing it." I thought okay Lord I'll talk to the previous teacher and if this is really what you want me to do I will talk to the Sunday School Board tonight about my concerns and the possible solution. During the afternoon I prayed about it and went to our pub house to see what types of studies they had and I found a wonderful four book study that I felt would be great. Well the time finally came that I talked to the Sunday School Board. They thought it was a great idea. They asked if I had someone in mind and I told them unless they thought of someone else I would be willing to teach the class. I was astonished that they were so excited that I would be willing to teach this class. This really doesn't sound like a big deal, so we started a new class and so I am going to be the teacher. What's the big deal? Well, for me it is the fact that God placed a burden on my heart a long time ago and he placed these wonderful people on my heart. Most of the ones I have been praying for are going through a rough time, some are not professing christians, some are maybe not as close as they should be. The fact that God trusts me with these delicate souls is exciting to me. It is very scary too, because I have a great responsibility to teach the truth of God and some of the things are going to possibly be tough topics to talk about. Also knowing that some of these people have been through some pretty traumatic situations in the past several months is going to be a challenge. The main thing I want them to know is that God and I love them unconditionally. No matter what. I had only three in the class this past Sunday which was the first Sunday, but I already felt a connection and I already feel God is beginning to work. One of the girl's mother told me that she was so excited that she brought her book into the restaurant and showed them. The mother said she was excited about this and that she would be praying for the class. I am so thankful. I feel we all in this class need prayers. I just want to be the instrument God uses. I am surprised that I feel excited and not nervous. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and God has blessed me with a great calm. What a great and wonderful God we serve. If you happen to read this, please offer up a prayer for this class and for me as I try to teach. Pray that God will speak to these hearts and bring us all into a closer relationship with Him.

Father's Day

Well, this has seemed to be the hardest Father's Day ever. Oh we went to church and honored all the fathers. We honored my children's father by taking him out to lunch. But the day was just a hard day. I made a card for my father, which doesn't seem to out of the ordinary, however, my father died Christmas Eve morning. For the most part I think I handled my father's death fairly well. I tried to stay strong for the family, etc. Well, back to today. I took my card to the cemetary, but before I could place it near his stone, I knocked another car's mirror off. It was an accident, but I felt horrible. They were there, as I was, to honor their father's memory and I tried to squeeze passed them. They were parked partly on, partly off the driveway and I thought I could squeeze by. Unfortunately our mirrors connected. After talking with them and the officer, I was allowed to go. I pulled away and the tears came. Not just tears, but sobs. I pulled up and found my dad's stone and placed his card amongst the flowers that were there. I went back to the van and wept. Not just tears of sorrow, but tears of anger. Anger?? Well, first I was angry with myself for not thinking, then I thought I am angry at the fact that I even had to be delivering my father's card to a cemetary. If he would have been at home where he belonged, I would not have to have even been at the cemetary and I would not have knocked that guys mirror off. Then the tears flooded even more as I thought about the past several months after my father's death. My mom has been forced to sell her house because her retirement & social security is not enough to make her mortgage payments. At her age she shouldn't even have to be worrying about mortgage payments. I know we shouldn't be angry over all these things. This is the first I have really admitted that I have had these angry thoughts, let alone voice them to any one. I don't know why I voiced them here, but I needed to voice them to someone. I know God is always there and he hears our every cry. I do believe that, but sometimes I feel I can't voice anger or hurt or disappointment. I know God understands these feelings, but sometimes I feel like I should not be voicing these feelings to God. At any rate, I love the Lord and He is big enough to hear my rants and still love me. I am thankful for that. By the way, I loved my father very much. He was a very good father. Did we always see eye to eye? Not on your life, but I know he loved me. Today more than any other day I would have given the world to be able to curl up in my father's lap and let him hold me like he did as a child and even a few years ago, when I was much older. I guess since I have no earthly father anymore, I will have to climb into the lap of my Heavenly Father and let him place his arms of comfort around me. Thank you dad for being such a good dad on earth and thank you Heavenly father for allowing me to have such a great dad and also for your comfort while he is away.

How many of us, when going through a particularly hard time, have thought I wish the Lord would come back and take us all away? I don't have a death wish or anything, but I've thought how great it would be if Jesus would come back and we'd spend the rest of eternity just worshipping God with out all the troubles of life. Well, I was sitting in church Sunday evening reading and letting my mind wander. I know, I know, I was supposed to be listening to the Pastor, but I was flipping pages in my Bible and happened to come across a passage that if I had read before, I had forgotten. It is not a book I go to frequently, but for some reason it caught my eye this time. The heading in my NIV Bible simply says "The Day of the Lord." I think that may have been why I paused. The passage is found in Amos Chapter 5, verse 18 and following. It starts out v. 18 "Woe to you who long for the day of the Lord." I thought wait a minute, we all look forward to the day of the Lord when things will be much better for us. Right?? The next part says "Why do you long for the day of the Lord?" I would think that would be obvious with the way the world seems to be. Then it says "that day will be darkness, not light." That's not what we want to hear. I have pondered this passage since stumbling across it. For the Christian it will be a wonderful time, when Jesus comes and we're caught up in the sky with him. It will be grand for those who have accepted Jesus as Lord of our lives as gather around the throne and worship the one who created us and saved us. Although for those who don't know Christ as their personal savior it will be a very dark time. It will be a time of great sorrow, not rejoicing for those souls. It made me think how selfish I have been at times wanting my trivial trials to end while there are so many not ready for "the day of the Lord." I need to ask God to help me through the hard times and do my part to pray and ask God how he can use me in reaching those who are not ready. I don't know if any of this makes sense, just some thoughts.